Sex Ed: What can I get away with today?

RedYellowGreenLightsWhat are kids learning about avoiding risky behaviors?

Are we teaching them that some risks are worth the consequences?

This is not how prevention  approaches the use of tobacco, drugs, and alcohol. Parents and teachers use every scientific argument known to be directive and adamant about abstaining from these substances and there are laws designed to prevent youth and adults from engaging or promoting such risky behaviors. This approach is the reason that tobacco use among teens has dramatically decreased over the past twenty-years.

Yet, when risky behaviors pertain to sexual activity, parents, teachers, and even law enforcement, become ambivalent and provide wishy-washy guidance, at best, leaving young people exposed to the consequences of sex without boundaries. Why do we shrink back from using every medically accurate, scientific fact to teach our teens and young adults how to abstain and set clear boundaries for appropriate sexual activity?

Why are we, in fact, doing just the opposite?

Many parents tell us that they feel like hypocrites telling their teens to delay sex, even until marriage, because they did not do so. This is exactly how societies go from bad to worse! Adults need to know that this is no longer about them and their sexual history! They have a chance to effect their child’s future. They need to refocus their attention onto what is best for their children and their peers. They need to give them the best sexual health messages, because that’s what most good parents do.

Many Comprehensive Health Ed programs in our schools add-on pregnancy and STD prevention curricula found on the Planned Parenthood website. These curricula teach sexual foreplay techniques with condoms to 11-16 year old teens, under the guise of HIV/STD prevention. Rather than teach clear, protective boundaries, they teach what teens/adults can get away with in our culture. With the clear and unambiguous boundaries of marriage and monogamous life-long fidelity rapidly disappearing from our culture, Sexual Rights have become the predominant message.

However, even with hormonal birth control and condoms, sexual activity still leads to predictable consequences such as pregnancy, disease, and life-long regret. Planned Parenthood, and other abortion services, benefit financially when the inevitable happens. No wonder they push these programs in our schools.

For at least the past three decades, Sex Ed in our schools, military, and colleges has abandoned the science of reproduction, and the medical and social benefits of abstinence and pregnancy prevention. Sex Ed is almost entirely about how to reduce the risks of sex, while still having “erotic, fun, and pleasurable” sex with condoms.

Sex education is an integral part of a worldwide Sexual Rights Agenda that fails to protect the rights of its victims to be really safe and free from harm.

While adults can legally make decisions about their sexual risks, minors and teens cannot, and they deserve legal and social protections from this dangerous agenda and from the adults who indulge in it.

Just two decades ago, military and civilian personnel were effectively trained on sexual harassment using actual court cases, so that they would know the clear boundaries they must follow to stay out of trouble. In recent years, Red, Yellow and Green Light trainings deal with tolerating the sexual behaviors of others and how far a person can go without violating “consent.” Or, how to obtain “consent” without being charged with harassment, sexual abuse or rape.

The lessons taught are about how to avoid the consequences of behavior, not about how to avoid the behavior leading to the consequences. This strategy has never worked for alcohol, drugs, and tobacco use.

Why do we insanely insist that it will work for out-of-bounds sexual activity?

Click on the pictures below. These are very similar sex lessons taught to students, under the guise of HIV Prevention. These sex lessons are known as Red, Yellow and Green Light Activities, found in Making A Difference! (pg. 120) for middle schools and in Be Proud! Be Responsible! (pg. 54) for high schools. Both curricula are produced by Select Media and are provided “FREE” to school districts and “Safe Sex-only” agencies around the nation with Federal and State grants using our tax money.









The purported goal of these lessons is to encourage the use of condoms (protected sex) while engaging in so-called “safe sex.” All of these activities are openly discussed in class as “safe” or “unsafe” ways to express sexual feelings. The Yellow Light activities are presented as “safe,” as long as condoms are used consistently and correctly at every incidence of sex. Even some of the Green Light activities are suspect, and the Red Light activities are really not off limits, as long as “protection” is used.

Even the CDC has stopped using percent effectiveness of condoms against HIV/STD transmission in their most recent Fact Sheet. They only claim that condoms are “highly effective.” However, condoms are only effective if used consistently and correctly during every act of vaginal sexual intercourse. The CDC warns about anal sex, yet promotes condoms for this activity, especially for gay and bisexual men.

Factor in normal human behavior, and the consequences from engaging in these sexual activities are just a “roll of the dice.” One does not get to choose which consequence(s) – STDs, pregnancy, depression, school failure, suicide, or nothing – they would prefer to endure.

“Better to be safe, than sorry” use to be the prevailing wisdom.

Now it is simply, “What can I get away with!”

This is not wisdom and it protects no one.

Find out if any of these sexual foreplay programs are in your child’s school district: Making A Difference!, Making Proud Choices!, Be Proud! Be Responsible!, Safer Choices, It’s Your Game, Draw the Line/Respect the Line, Teen Outreach Program, and Promoting Health Among Teens.

If you need help, contact us at Let us know what is in your school district. If you don’t know, find out! That’s what good parents do!


A lesson from middle school “Safe Sex” class

Making Condoms Fun In most school districts across the nation, there are Planned Parenthood-type Sex Education programs being offered to middle school students. We are talking about 12 year old minors, who cannot legally consent to sex.

Who is protecting them? Isn’t that the adult’s responsibility?

Making Proud Choices is just one of many programs, but this one page from their curricula, given to me by a concerned parent, depicts some of the sexually explicit instruction that your pubescent son or daughter will be exposed to during the next school year.

Are you going to opt your child out of this type of sex ed, or cave to adult peer pressure and the “my school administrators know what’s best for my child” mentality?

What will you do when all those papers come home from school for you to sign? Better find out what kind of sex ed is in your child’s school.

Making Proud Choices, touted as an “abstinence and safer sex risk-reduction intervention for HIV prevention,” is listed on the Planned Parenthood site under curricula. The research on Making Proud Choices reveals that it has only been tested in after-school programs, and community-based settings with inner-city African American teens (11-13), not in public middle schools,. Yet, it is being generalized to the middle school population.

So, what does the research reveal about this so-called abstinence program?

Three, six and twelve months after the program: Sexually experienced youth (6th and 7th graders) were less likely to have unprotected sex. (This means that sexually active youth were more likely to use condoms, but we do not know if condom use was consistent or correct.) And, there was no impact on overall rates or frequency of intercourse.

For sexually inexperienced youth (virgins), there was no significant impact on their use of condoms, if they decided to have intercourse.

So, teens that were already having sex used condoms more often, but virgin teens who had sex after the program, did not use condoms. How safe is that? I thought that was the whole idea behind teaching ALL children about “safe sex”! So they would be prepared in the heat of the moment!

What is so bad about Making Proud Choices? Look at the lesson page!

Do you want your child’s sex teacher “helping participants see how they can make condom use fun and pleasurable for themselves and their partners [so that they are] encouraging consistent use and a sense of pride and responsibility?”   Does this match up with their researched outcomes?

Do you want your child’s sex teacher using “newsprint entitled, Sex is More Fun When Condoms are Used Because…?”  If it’s in the news, it must be true. Right?

Do you want your child to participate with their classmates in a brainstorming session about sex, condoms and pleasure? What if the session makes them feel uncomfortable? Or, what if it makes them eager to become sexually active the first chance they get?

If the students do not shout out all the reasons that using condoms makes sex fun, do you want your child’s sex teacher adding to the list the following ideas?

“Sex is more fun when condoms are used because…

  • You can use condoms as a method of foreplay.
  • You can think up a sexual fantasy using condoms.
  • You can act sexy/sensual when putting condoms on.
  • You can hide one on your body and ask your partner to find it.
  • You can tease each other sexually while putting on the condom.
  • You can have fun putting one on your partner, while pretending you are different people or in different situations.
  • You feel more relaxed and can really enjoy yourself.
  • Condoms make erections last longer.

Notice, that no where on this page is abstinence or the consequences of sex, like STDs and pregnancy, mentioned. The whole idea is fun and pleasure. Is this age appropriate?

Many states have already passed Comprehensive Health Education Laws that make this type of Sex Ed mandatory for all students. If parents do not opt-out their child, they will automatically be in the class. In some states, parents already have no choice. Other states’ Legislators are under pressure from the Planned Parenthood Network (Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, SIECUS, Advocates for Youth, ACLU, State Planned Parenthood Chapters and the New Morning Foundation) to make this type of Sex Ed mandatory. They are also trying to make it illegal for a separate proven-effective and evidence-based Abstinence Education Program, such as Heritage Keepers, to be taught in the public schools.

Parents, find out what your child’s school is teaching in sex class, review the curricula, sit in on the classes, and talk to the sex teacher. If it is offensive to you and your family, expose it, stand against it, and invite authentic abstinence education programs into your child’s school.

You’re the parent. It’s your responsibility to protect children from sexual exploitation.

No one else will.